Sunday, 15 February 2009

Which way next???

Most major religions in the world have the slogan 'love your neighbor as yourself', or words to that effect. But what equips us to do this. To my mind the only thing that really equips us is forgiveness. To realise we are ultimately forgiven, given space to make mistakes and grow from them. It is not until we see the pain of our own short fallings that we can truly have the capacity to make allowances for another.

Also in order to truly Love our neighbor we also have to be able to Love ourselves. This is easily said, but not always achieved. We often see ourselves the way society does, as commodities. We place value on ourselves according to what we do,(achieve), what labels we can afford and ultimately from the way others see us. Even in a relationship we can get our value from how that person loves us not from us seeing our self worth outside that ( often that is why breakups and rejection hurt so much). The problem for many of us, as it has been for me at times, is that in order to receive that love from another we do have to both value and love ourselves.

Many of us feel we do not deserve love.

I spent a number of years trying to earn love, I put big demands on myself to be a certain way. I demanded much from others because of this.

If we consider ourselves perfect or even strive for perfection, my experience is that places huge demands on ourselves and others. Raising expectations of them and us. I want to continue trying to allow myself the space to fail, to grow and grant others the GRACE to do the same. (Grace is a word used to describe receiving without deserving it). Grace does not come cheaply, but it is not something we can buy.
To be gracious really hurts. When someone we love a friend or companion has pain or needs support, understanding or time it can be very difficult to give it to them.

We have needs and desires of our own, our insecurities rejections are apparent and our resources are limited as humans. However there is in us the ability to Love, forgive, and give grace to someone else.

This could be giving space for that person for find healing in their time, not just give a quick fix solution or impatiently demand what we need.

It is not a responsibility or obligation, not something to feel guilty about and put pressure on ourselves about. But it is enriching, life giving and rewarding.
This demands a sacrifice. In the ultimate act of sacrifice, Jesus (Jeshua) gives up his choice to what he wants and needs and makes way for us to have space to find the way. To find healing, find space, find time, find peace. Try it today, it hurts but it works.
As hard as it is to provide grace, it is also hard to receive it. To acknowledge we are weak, inefficient at changing and allowing a work to come into us to bring that change is hard too.
The way I see it, it is a two way process. With the act of grace comes the response and then ultimately for that person healing. Just for some takes longer than others.

As we put ourselves in the place of others and consider their needs before ours we are performing a miracle. A shift in perception. To put the other first demands much, but it is worth it for both... We are all worth it.

hope this makes sense ??? if you got this far :)

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Happy New Year

Bit belated i know... but these have been different times for me. A lot of processing being done. I am not intending to use this blog to be self indulgent and tell you all about my life... rather i want it to be something people can participate in. To this end maybe the absence of writing is a reflection on my introspection and maybe if i had written prior to now it would have been more self. Apologies for this. This maybe something to do with a new Love in my life. Her name is Jodun.

For now all i will say is life has been good and hard recently and at times lonley... i will have a thought provoking post out in the next couple of days.
His Grace and Peace