Please don't give up on me because i am so slack at writing.. often i am having thoughts but not just wanting to use this as a spewing site for my mind.. want to write things that maybe helpful to others so want to think them through, so here goes with the latest....
I am glad my life is full of colour. recently i have been aware that i have been drawn to the colour pink. Not the baby pink but more the dusky dark pink variety. I am aware it is quite a fashion colour for guys this year and i have recently purchased some items. Jodun has just had a birthday party in London with the theme 'Express yourself'. I fully intended to wear a pink outfit but... i had a conversation with a counsellor guy that i see. i told him of this intended expression and he asked me to think if it was about anything. As we discussed this i thought it probably had something to do with my masculinity. I then realised that day i was fully clothed in Khaki and had been dressing in that way for the past few days, certainly a stereotypical masculine/feminine contrast. He told me to sit there and ask God what that was about. At that moment the phone rang.. it was Joduns mother.. we chatted for a moment and then she asked if i could do her a favour. She said could i buy Jodun some flowers from her.” Of course” i said, what type and colour?? “Pink...well actually cerise kind of dark pink.....” I found this highly amusing in light of the current conversation. I had been to get a drink and after the conversation realised it was with a pink innocent smoothie with a khaki wrapper. i commented on my probable subconcious choice of drink after. I then noticed the label on the smoothie wrapper, it read something along the lines of ...getting life in balance is important and how we are often trying to perform and worry about it, we just need to put the good things in and the bad will take care of itself …. 'i am off to see a bearded lady about a trampoline' how much of a masculine/feminine statement is that. :) Just to say at the party i wore a stark contrast of pink and khaki.
Tonight i went out on the streets of Bournemouth to do chaplaincy work. I went out with other volunteers to look for people to help. Tonight was very different from usual. We didnt really help anyone. Instead we spent the whole evening just having really nice chats with door staff and people in the street. I have been really wanting to slow down latley and concentrate on relationships, tonight that seemed to happen. The last person we encountered was a girl who had no shoes. We offered some slippers, which were recieved gratefully. As she sat on the floor to put them on she exclaimed'”they are pink” i replied in jest '”well no, more cerise i think” I said this as i had the whole pink clothes thing in mind.
She asked if we could shout for her sister down the road. We obliged and called her sister over, and had a little chat with her explaining who we were , her sister seemed keen to volunteer with us so we got some details.. the slipper girl was getting aggitated and wanted to go and get some food.... sis then said "shut up Cerise" i did an audio double take !! "what did you say?? whats your sisters name?" i asked. "Cerise" she said!!!!!!!
What are the chances of that?!!! Me saying the word cerise to Cerise putting on her 'PINK slippers!!! The sceptic in me says maybe i heard this word being said and subconciousley repeated it... but on relfection i am 99.9% certain that didnt happen and that in fact it was Gods crazy sense of humour. That he planted that in my mind in the ongoing comedy of my pink journey...
As I was talking about this to Jodun I asked her what she thought of the incident that happened, she asid she wasn’t sure, but let let out a loud laugh… she told me a guy had just walked past her with bright pink hair!!!! She then walked past a guy in pink trainers, he was on the phone and the on rhing she heard was him saying yeah I can wear pink shoes….!!! I then phoned my mother and she thought it was all funny as they had a had a chat in the garden with a few guys about whether they would wear pink or not. Maybe this pink thing is something men need to address… are we being imasculinated? I certainly wonder about the pressure on us to perform and be a certain way. What we are supposed to be like and how we are to act. How sex has become a way of showing manhood and how we are all dehumanised in that process.
Did you know that in Victorian times Pink was a mans colour and baby boys, not girls were dressed in it.