France 2

So been in France nearly a week, beautiful blue sky, surf, relaxing having a really nice time. Been surfing most days and all should be peachy… so why then am I starting to get negative and even a little down on things.

Maybe it is that I am stopping after a whirlwind of goodbyes, organising and expectation?? But i think I am discovering more what it is about…

I think for months now I have been filled with positive thoughts and excitement about these changes in my life. But in the last week a few doubts have started creeping in. Not so sure anymore?? What if it is all a waste of time, what am I trying to achieve anyway?
I guess number one thing is that ll this is happening cos, it did just kind of happen. I also feel like I am being obedient to God in doing this. Although some may think this is ideal for me and a dream, maybe it is in part but it is also a big sacrifice and more to the point a total unknown. Now for someone who likes to be in control this is scary. How will I have a relationship in this lifestyle? How will I sort out issues with my house, will my money last? What about all my friends and pet fish back home?

…Thought for the day
Doubts seem to lead me to fear, which leads me to question, which leads me to negative thoughts about myself, my future and my life.
In the book of James (bible) he says a double minded person gets blown around and tossed by the wind, doubting creates this. I have been blown around by the surf this week, both literally and mentally. This passage was in the book I was reading today and my bible reading notes which I just started today, very timely!!
I am sure of my path and sticking to it regardless of niggling thoughts.
What a beautiful blue sky outside, I am just gonna sit back and enjoy the ride.