okay so i am sorry this has taken so long and i guess with moving into a new place i have had to let things settle a little... have now been in Bournemouth for 1 month and have not stopped much yet. I have been in london djing, at friends wedding and more and just feel like starting to think about this being my new home. It feels like i could be here a long time and that i have given up much to invest in this place even though i don't know it or many of it's people yet, but i feel drawn here and have a strong sense of purpose here.

i have had many thought over previous weeks and last week was on a conference about Community Transformation. this is a subject very close to my heart. It is really what i have been working toward my whole adult life and even childhood too. But the idea of the little difference i make or how big the worlds problems are are often so overwhelming i think.."whats the point`.

This conference was lead by Tearfund (Christian poverty charity) and Livability ( provider of care for adults). Firstly the conference modelled what it spoke of. i have never been in a bunch of people with so little pretence and so much openess. seemed like everyone, young or old, whatever background were on the same page.
The key speaker named Dave Andrews was a humble Australian guy with a larger than life personality. He basically said that we can change no one but ourselves.

He focused on the pain and depression people go through and said that our common problem is that we often look at the things we can not change rather than what we can. If we always look beyond our area of influence and concentrate on the areas for concern, we will always be depressed.
I think this is why i get so frustrated by the News a lot of the time. It just shows all the things that go wrong and very little of what people are actually doing about it.It makes me feel powerless. There are many things that people (not just Christians) all around the world are doing to help alleviate pain and suffering, but only a tiny amount is ever reported ... no wonder we/ i feel hopeless at times.

i am trying hard to start to focus on the moment (where God is with me, with us in hopelessness) and findout what I CAN do. Fortunatley there are bunch of people (did you know a bunch of banana's is 300 or so... i mean the bunch like 5-10) here who are really committed to the same thing. I think doing things together is much better. and if what Dave Andrews says is true and i can only change myself... If we as a group change ourselves then others will see that change and who knows maybe decide to change themselves...

so this is a bit of where i am at right now... grappling with questions and not having the answers... i am still thankful and loking forward to the challenges ahead.

write again very soon!!!!


'The submission of individual independence to a higher force than our own, is the only way of ridding the world of evil. ' ANON